12 Hilarious Ways To Reject Jerks Who Hit On You At A Bar

 
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In a perfect world, women would be able to tell creepy guys at bars "I don't want to go out with you," and they'd leave them alone. You should never hesitate to say this outright, but occasionally, you may run up against a guy who can't quite take the very obvious hint. With that in mind, here are 12 totally ridiculous (but probably very effective) ways to get that bar creeper to stop asking you out.

12 Hilarious Ways To Reject Jerks Who Hit On You At A Bar

1. "Sorry, I'm actually moving to a foreign country for witness protection reasons." I saw a guy ask a woman out and she said no and then he wouldn't leave her alone. It was a truly horrible crime to witness and now I have to move. Where? The moon.

2. Pretend you don't speak english except for the word "bye." If he doesn't get the hint after 5 consecutive "byes," it's OK to just walk away like he's a ghost.

3. "If I wasn't already married to a cop, I would totally go out with you." If there's one thing weirdos hate, it's someone who knows cops.

4. "Sure! My phone number is, "212-no-no-no-no-no." If he's particularly dumb, he might ask you to repeat the number, but even if he does, "no" isn't a hard number to remember or repeat.

5. "We should totally go out because my plan is to get married and have 2 kids by next year!" It would take a special kind of dirtbag to be like, "This total stranger wants to get married and have me help raise our two children in 12 months? I'm in!"

6. "Yes! I would love to date someone from this planet. I've never done that before." Fake alien = forever alone.

7. *Lets out any available farts.* And do not, I repeat do not look embarrassed at all. If anything, smile. Smile wide.

8. "OK, but only if you buy me one of those cryogenics banks so I can freeze my body after I die." Look, everyone has a price. That's yours.

9. "I'll go out with you, but be aware all my dates last a minimum of 10 seconds, so this one is almost over." And be unrelenting about that 10 seconds by checking your phone and then saying, "That was fun. Bye."

10. "Only if my 8 cats can come with me. And FYI, none of them are litter trained, so…" If there's anything guys love, it's a lady with a ton of cats who are guaranteed to pee all over him at a steak restaurant.

11. "I'm actually allergic to men." It's the new gluten-free.

12. "Every boyfriend I've ever had mysteriously died, but I guess I could try again." And then keep a dead serious look on your face until you walk away slowly. Now be free, be free!

By Lane Moore. Cosmopolitan

Fuente: www.cosmopolitan.com
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