Study: Kids Who Go To Metal Shows Turn Out Better Than Your Annoying Honor Student

 
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"Parents who introduce their children to heavy metal and take them to shows are more likely to turn out as likable, productive members of society — a new study revealed.

Study: Kids Who Go To Metal Shows Turn Out Better Than Your Annoying Honor Student

Dr. Kevin M. Amell spent more than four years studying children who are exposed to heavy metal as opposed to kids who aren’t and found those who listened to metal to be “much cooler”.

To the contrary, parents who pushed their children to perform better academically were mostly found to be “pretentious little sh*ts”, according to the study.

“The likability factor definitely came into play. The metal kids were way cooler, dressed better, and communicated better than the high and mighty honor students I spoke with.” Dr. Amell said — who was sporting his new Amon Amarth shirt.

Jimmy Miller, an honor student from Madison, Wisconsin described his hobbies as “playing Xbox, playing soccer,” and “drawing”. Apart from playing Xbox, Dr. Amell found the hobbies to be incredibly boring.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, 11 year old Taylor Stevens is a huge Slipknot fan and enjoys “playing guitar, moshing,” and “headbanging”, something described as “infinitely cooler” by those conducting the scientific study.

Ultimately, the metalhead kids turned out to be much better at conversing with other kids and far more creative. The parents were found to spend more quality time with their children and shared common interests, aside from the “sh*tty soccer moms who use sports as daycare” the case study revealed.

This is good news for heavy metal! We have all seen kids rocking out at metal shows having the time of their lives, but now we know they could very well be the future leaders of America".

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Fuente: heaviermetal.net
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