"As we age, love and sex are more important than ever. True, those hormones are changing, and the passionate, toe-tingling love of our twenties and thirties doesn’t tidal-wave us away like it used to.
But guess what? The love is there, and it’s calling out to be nurtured — to be customized for you and your partner. There is no end date to good love and good sex. They go on forever. If you’ve thrown out the goods, so to speak, reclaim them immediately. Doing so will change your life.
You know the excuses: It’s been months. It’s gotten so mechanical. Work keeps me up late. Between demanding teenagers and elderly parents, I’m so exhausted I can hardly fix dinner, not to mention have a clothes-flinging romp in the back room.
On a more serious level, perhaps it hurts, or you can’t reach orgasm. We’ll talk about these issues in a future blog.
Right now, step back for a moment and look at the big picture: Good sex begins with good love. You need both. First, ramp up the feeling. This will be one of the most important things you ever do, so do it. Now.
Whether you’re in a 20-year committed relationship or are single and dating a special person, think about that loved one’s needs (it’s not all about you!). It’s your assignment to light your person up. (You do have time — and you’ll reap the benefits!)
1. Listen and Tune In to Your Partner
Give your loved one your full attention. This builds respect and makes your partner feel significant and cherished. It’s so easy to text your sister or browse a favorite shopping site while your partner is talking about a work challenge or a troubling conversation with a friend. Drop everything and make eye contact. Give a thoughtful response. That’s sexy.
2. Try Something New Together
It doesn’t have to be a trip to Paris (but put that on your list!). Take a road trip. Cook dinner together once a week, trying a new recipe each time. Try one another’s hobbies. Plan a date night and stick to it. Look forward to that time and cherish it. (No mobile phones allowed.) Arthur Aron, PhD, a social psychologist at the State University of New York in Stonybrook, has spent a lifetime studying relationships and says that trying something new can recreate the early courtship butterflies.
3. Hug, Kiss, and Cuddle Every Day
The benefits of the hug are hailed by researchers around the world. This powerful action is believed to release oxytocin, which increases hormones that make you feel happy and calm, notes psychologist Tiffany Field, PhD, who directs the Touch Institute at the University of Miami. Called the bonding hormone, oxytocin strengthens connections between you and your loved one. So put your arms around each other. Kiss. Listen to your heartbeats. Trace one another’s faces and tell each other what you love most about those special features. Touch deepens connection, says psychologist Matt Hertenstein, PhD, of DePauw University’s Touch and Emotion Lab in Greencastle, Indiana.
4. Laugh Together, Especially Before Sex
Muscles relax for up to 45 minutes after a good chuckle, setting the stage for relaxed sex. Laughing also prompts the brain to release endorphins that flood your system and leave you feeling happy. Connecting with another human being through laughter signals playfulness and ignites passion.
5. Use Massage to Reconnect
Dr. Field notes the deep connection massage creates, and that the person giving the massage receives as much benefit as the person being massaged. This skin-to-skin contact will lead to deeper, more intimate touching that works for both of you. We’ll talk about those touches in an upcoming blog.
Try this DIY Lavender Rub from 500 Time-Tested Home Remedies and the Science Behind Them:
Mix 1 ounce of essential oil, such as olive, almond, or jojoba oil, with 12 drops of lavender essential oil. Pour the mixture into a clean jar, cap it, and shake. Slowly massage into your partner’s back, arms, and legs.
You’ll both benefit from the touch and scent. Lavender’s calming qualities literally take you out of your busy head and into the moment — together".
Fuente: www.everydayhealth.com
